Thursday, March 24, 2011

Sout Filly Kommunity Kollige Majors

1) Haul worthless crap into the back of your pickup, 2 year Associate's degree, no driver's license required
2) Sit on stoop all day, 12 year PhD program, must publish
3) Play your awful music really loudly so my walls shake, night classes only (12am-4am)
4) Fake an injury to obtain long term disability, preference given to government workers
5) Illegal parking, concentrations in double parking, sidewalk parking, and "how the hell can that be legal!?!" parkings

It's...what day is it? Who cares, I don't have a job!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

And now...

The Top 5 Indicators that your Neighborhood is a Piece of Shit

5) Your neighbor uses bed sheets as curtains.
4) Target spent money to electronically lock their shopping carts.
3) You voted in an abandoned house.
2) You watched a drug deal go down RIGHT OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW.

And the #1 Indicator that your Neighborhood is a Piece of Shit...
1) The FBI came in a van and arrested people on your street!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

And now for something completely different

My wife told me to say something nice about South Philly to give my blog more credibility.

Not Just Pizza on 11th and Wolf has semi-decent pizza. There.

It's time-a to maykadda pizza day in South Philly and it's Trash Day.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Whether rain or shine...

...or shit? Today the mailman must have stepped on one of the many piles of dog poop left on the sidewalk by neighbors too lazy and inconsiderate to pick up after their dogs. Noticing this while on our stoop, the guy used our first step to wipe off the majority of it, and our welcome mat for the remaining.

I know someone who's not getting a Christmas tip this year.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

F*** my life impression

South Philly has a proud tradition of reserving parking spots with useless junk like buckets, folding chairs, and plastic containers from 12 packs of 2-gallon Pepsi bottles. With a snowstorm, this practice snowballs, for lack of a better term. Well after much deliberation and a horrid 2 hour stuck-in-the-snow experience, we decided to trash-up and save a spot. We used a big metal coat rack from Ikea. Someone must have gotten wise because both our spot and our coat rack were stolen.

It's "fuck everyone else day" in South Philly and it's trash day.

You can put it anywhere

The Honda CRV in this picture decided to just park in the middle of our street. I guess they figured no one could make it down our unplowed street anyway. Fortunately, the PPA begged to differ and ticketed them.

It's a snow day in South Philly and it's trash day. But not really. They haven't collected our trash in two weeks.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Shot in the back...over a matter of 80 dollars

A house about a block south of us has this sticker in its window. "Drop the plastic-covered couch mother fucker!"

It's "time to take out the trash" day in South Philly.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Curb Your Enthusiasm

This is a regular sight in South Philly. The irony is that we once got a ticket for parking on our street with the tires about 1 inch on the curb. Maybe the ticket was for not parking with more of the car on the curb, like THE ENTIRE CAR! Note, there are two or three cars parked entirely on the curb every single night, and not once in a year and a half have I seen one get a ticket.

I have 14 days to pay my parking ticket and it's Trash Day in Philadelphia.