And now for something completely different

My wife told me to say something nice about South Philly to give my blog more credibility.

Not Just Pizza on 11th and Wolf has semi-decent pizza. There.

It's time-a to maykadda pizza day in South Philly and it's Trash Day.

Whether rain or shine...

...or shit? Today the mailman must have stepped on one of the many piles of dog poop left on the sidewalk by neighbors too lazy and inconsiderate to pick up after their dogs. Noticing this while on our stoop, the guy used our first step to wipe off the majority of it, and our welcome mat for the remaining.

I know someone who's not getting a Christmas tip this year.

F*** my life impression

South Philly has a proud tradition of reserving parking spots with useless junk like buckets, folding chairs, and plastic containers from 12 packs of 2-gallon Pepsi bottles. With a snowstorm, this practice snowballs, for lack of a better term. Well after much deliberation and a horrid 2 hour stuck-in-the-snow experience, we decided to trash-up and save a spot. We used a big metal coat rack from Ikea. Someone must have gotten wise because both our spot and our coat rack were stolen.

It's "fuck everyone else day" in South Philly and it's trash day.

You can put it anywhere

The Honda CRV in this picture decided to just park in the middle of our street. I guess they figured no one could make it down our unplowed street anyway. Fortunately, the PPA begged to differ and ticketed them.

It's a snow day in South Philly and it's trash day. But not really. They haven't collected our trash in two weeks.

Shot in the back...over a matter of 80 dollars

A house about a block south of us has this sticker in its window. "Drop the plastic-covered couch mother fucker!"

It's "time to take out the trash" day in South Philly.

Curb Your Enthusiasm

This is a regular sight in South Philly. The irony is that we once got a ticket for parking on our street with the tires about 1 inch on the curb. Maybe the ticket was for not parking with more of the car on the curb, like THE ENTIRE CAR! Note, there are two or three cars parked entirely on the curb every single night, and not once in a year and a half have I seen one get a ticket.

I have 14 days to pay my parking ticket and it's Trash Day in Philadelphia.

The Gutter's Gutter

People in South Philly equate gutters with trash cans. Since moving here, littering has climbed to the top of my "crimes deserving castration" list.

Also high on the list are cars turning left before the light turns green to beat oncoming traffic and kids jumping out in front of my scooter to impress your friends. Really, derelicts! It's not funny anymore.

It's Saturday in South Philly and it's trash day. Actually, today really was trash day, though that didn't stop anyone from littering.

Well, Marty. I'm almost 18 years old. It's not like I've never parked before.

This car is actually parked. Must have confused the 10 inches from the curb rule with 10 feet. In the driver's defense, he may not know how to count.

It's driver's license renewal day and it's trash day.

What a Turd!

This picture is of the small square of wood chips that surrounds the one sorry tree on our block. Some prick lets his/her dog roam without a leash and crap wherever the hell it wants. Just like the cigarrettes, these people leave their dogs' filth in their backyards until it piles up and attracts swarms of flies.

This one's of the smear my wife left after she stepped in a fresh pile and nearly fell down. I'd consider suing but the person's entire wealth probably consists of puffy Eagles jackets and 3 packs of Walmart brand wifebeaters.

It's a crappy day in South Philly and it's trash day.

Going up in Smoke

My backyard neighbor's patio table. Mind you this is the only furniture in their backyard. If you can't get them to keep their own houses clean, how can we expect them to keep the streets and sidewalks clean?

It's lung cancer awareness day in South Philly and it's trash day.