Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I left my heart - and fender - in South Philly

My wife's father has an amazing saying: There are two types of drivers. Slow fucks and dumb fucks. I can only assume the culprit here was the latter.

Nine days after purchasing a car, we came home to this. Some moron couldn't make his way down our street. Apparently it was a big blue van that went up on the curb to avoid the parked cars only to come back down cerimoniously by ripping off our front fender and bumper.

While the entire event was pretty sickening, the account of the incident provided by our typical South Philly neighbor almost made it worth the ordeal.

The neighbor approached us, claiming she was around when it happened (home during the day - couldn't be unemployed). She heard the crash from inside her house. Poking her head out in classic South Philly fashion, she saw a blue van head down the street and round the corner. "Did you get the license plate," I asked. Of course not. But she did identify the vehicle as "one of them gone-fishin' vans." I haven't a clue what the lady was talking about, and neither, quite honestly, did she. She offered us excellent insight into the driver's identity however. "Later on, I saw a Chinese man walking down the street. He seemed interested in the car." "Chinese?," I repeated. "Yeah, either Chinese or Puerto Rican." Thanks lady. Racist and useless.

It's Tuesday in South Philly and it's trash day.

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